thewaxlion:

magalimoon:

“It hurts me. It hurts me, knowing what I’ve done, and that pain…That pain is with me all the time. And every day, I think that if I just…If just give myself over to the blood, I can make that pain stop. It would be that easy, and every day, I fight that. And I am so terrified that one day, I’m not gonna want to fight that anymore.”

#lolol #this line #this stupid line that i suppose is meant to instill in us a general sense of stefan’s inherent ‘goodness’ #but all is hear is emily seeing exactly what stefan will become and trying to shut it down early #she sees him indulging in every monstrous and cruel thing he can think of because it’s his nature (monster predator ripper) #she sees him deciding he has no choice as a way to justify himself and so she gives him this #she gives him a pure heart #she was trying to make it so he couldn’t ever see himself as just a monster or a predator or a ripper #oh no #he’s a pure-hearted boy now #she said these words to him and now he will ALWAYS be that #he will never ever let go of the idea that he should be better than his darkest instincts #i have a lot of feelings about emily bennett #and how she knew exactly who and what stefan was when she sent him on his way

#in which emily trolls stefan and trolls him good #if anything those words were a curse; couched in kindness and the heavy weight #of everything she knew stefan to be and what he might become #and the futile hope that if she said this - maybe she could stave off the monster; like a kid sticking her finger in a dyke #but they were a curse nonetheless #and it’s like stefan’s entire existential identity crisis is caught up in these words #and every moment he’s tried to fold himself into them and come out nothing more than a horrifying; broken; fucked up caricature. #i like to think of this; the moment stefan lifts his shaking fingers all wet with his father’s blood and licks them #and the second he pushes damon’s pale frightened face into that girl’s neck and forces him to drink#so he won’t suffer an eternity without his brother as like the tri-partite defining moments#of stefan salvatore: newly-blooded vampire and future taxidermising ripper #and like katherine looms over them all; everything she represents for him.

(Source: britneyslost, via andapositiveoutlook)